What has made you laugh today?

Hmm I should have some around the place...seeing he was my partner in raving crime for 2 years...

anyone got any decent pics of hayley then from that period?

obviously not her most current period.

i mean the raving type, not menstrual.

 

might have to nes myself! i know she had some up in her room on the wall

Yikes, arghghg noooo! hahahahaha

*thinks back to when glow sticks were with me every time I was out and the 'Wrong room' was where we went to recover*

Thankfully my hardcore kandy days were 12+ years ago, back in a glorious age where nobody had mobile phones or digital cameras.

*thinks back in horror to new years 95 with dodgy undercut, hair in tiny plats, each plat a different fluro colour & wrapped in wire to make them stand out with a mini glowstick at the end*

that has easily got to be the gayest thing anyone has ever done

Ahahahaha, the wrong room.

This family....
image not archived: n1198975489_30029445_8218.jpg

  yeah i think we need a thread deicated to conspiracy theories

funny i got the same response from my sis and someone else, to a totally different email, within a minute from each other..."okely dokely " & "Okily Dokily...j" 

hahahah hey i roked glow in the dark earings (mini glow sticks) and a brecelet on new years in memory of the oldskool raver days  

  at that family hahahahaha

I'm pretty sure that's one of Spacey's family photos.

I did rock the mullet at an early age. But by fuck you'd know about it by now if it was as cracking as that! I'd still be rockin it now!

gosh i wish someone would dress up like that for real. soooo funny!

Well, I got suspended from the whirlpool forums because I was giving shit to a dude from an ISP because he was a douche, well a complete dick in fact, and I pondered (in my post) why they would allow him near a computer in the first place... But that didn't get me banned, what got me banned was calling the person who moderated that post a Jew and telling him to put it back up...

Some people hey.





P.S. I just go there for fun. Not that it's much fun when you're banned though

 

I just found out that it is National Walk to School day tomorrow and my kids school has been chosen as the showcase school - the one the TV crews will be at and a heap of other rubbish. Well, this other rubbish includes the Gladiators joining the kids for breakfast. So now I have to get up at 7am to join the little ones as they get mega excited about meeting their Gladiator heroes.

Shoot me now.

Man, you don't know how lucky you are, some people only dream about meeting the gladiators!

Give angel one for me.

And by "give angel one" I mean "put your erect penis inside angel's vagina".

If you, um, get my drift.

lol! Link? This I have to see, that board has to be one of the most nazi moderated boards around. Plus the amount of dropkicks that post on there is always amusing.

If I'm gonna be awake at 8 in the morning the medicine required to do so will actively be working against the words erect and penis.

catastrophic making an appearance at a primary school? suspicious.




i'll message you when i have a free minute about stuff mate.

Dude, I don't think the world needs to know about how you're going to help Noddy with his erection problems...

I see no problem with Chris boasting about his recent charity work.

jealousy is a curse julian!

at least josh's issues can be explained.

what's your excuse? 

this thread is making me laugh 

I made myself 'lol' witht he word 'flannel' ... what a weird word ...

Not in Adelaide with you any more

If only I took pictures from the very first recovery I went to, Jesus Hell...

pretty sure there are pictures from the first recovery you went to.... kurkos after stardust, good breakfast. pretty sure you called someone to come pick you up!

 

i have a stash somewhere...

Sure did you guys had been polishing off breakfast and I was some what frightened.

Griffles and Splurko have made me laugh today.

I know you're refering to me as Splurko but...


AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!

http://qdb.us/7442

<F|uke> I like to have sex with Enya playing in the background
<F|uke> Enya doesnt mind it either.,....she just sits, watches and plays

Ben to some random munt on Saturday night:

"Hello Munty!"

keysers new avatar, that is serious youtube gold that vid

But you already knew that Mikey

Me screaming out, as I hurt my arm:  "Jesus Fucking Christ!" in front of an extremely religious guy I work with!

You shoulda seen his face!

Actually i dunno if thats so funny thinking about it now

I think that's hilarious.

Yep, the hurting yourself and the blasphemy

He even ran out of the room!

I feel a little bad ....





But not enuff for me not to laugh!

HA HA

Seeing this guy on the street in Bangkok...

image not archived: TOliverLou.jpg

He was wearing big dark sunnies and I thought is that the dude from Neighbours? I thought no more of it until some English guy I know told me last night he's staying in the room across from him and they had a beer with him in the bar downstairs.

Naughty naughty! 

Idiot.

I thought the same thing! hahaha

I wonder if he has some decent cash from all those years on TV though because the Regency Park where he's staying is only 3 star and pretty cheap, I've even stayed there before because it was a nice place but also cheap! I would expect a 'big' celebrity like him to stay somewhere better but hey more money for the gogo bars and girls hey? 

Yeh is a little sketchy if he is cruising around in huge sunnies, especially if he is hiding out in a non-flashy hotel! B grade celebs in hiding. I wonder if he is looking for some little boys in dresses!

I mean, shouldnt he actually be at the logies or something!??! 

Woulda been waaaaaaaaay cooler if it was Harold!

Lou would without question have to stay in a 3 star hotel due to the amount of cash he would've blown over the years on his ladyboy slaughtering addiction

A Scientific Attempt To Create Most Annoying Song Ever

http://blog.wired.com/music/2008/04/a-scientific-at.html

The song streams from the bottom of the article.

opera rapping?!?! 

thats shocking...

This bloke..

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=6d0_1209906983

 

Hahahaha. Fucking Liam, again. 

Virgins - thanks for nothing? 

You are priceless.

http://www.cracked.com/article_16225_9-devices-that-are-clearly-compensating-small-penis.html

 

Quaz' new avatar.. gold!

he's better just quietly.

Chris' emails today... God your a funny cunt

i'm still waiting.

cheers mate. our e-mail's have been keeping me going the last few days.

Yea same mate.. I know I am also waiting 

*taps foot*

-some guys posted 120,000 times on some site  

-someone posted this on RA and it made me laugh,

Its safe(ish)-for-work porn...i wouldn't open it up at work though
http://uk.rottentomatoes.com/vine/showthread.php?t=583431&page=1

some fucking quality pics...

Griff's new theme song has made me laugh today.

thats gold

was getting a hair cut at a friends place last nite, home and away was on in the background and i heard some dnb on it

  and it's always shapeshifter!

A number plate " SIR RX3 " .... on a Commodore station wagon.

 

epic tool!!

Episode 1 of Griff's drink experiments

Had a family, sold the Rex, kept the plates for some reason, swapped to a family friendly wagon maybe? 

Stupid Quiz Show Answers

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC 2)
Bamber Gascoigne: What was Gandhi's first name?
Contestant: Goosey?

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)
Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers'?
Contestant: Homosexuals.
Paxman: No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you.

BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)
Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is?
Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point.
Theakston: There's a clue in the title.
Contestant: Leicester.

THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)
Anne Robinson: Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: prison, or the Conservative Party?
Contestant: The Conservative Party.

BEACON RADIO (WOLVERHAMPTON)
DJ Mark: For 10 Pounds, what is the nationality of the Pope?
Ruth from Rowley Regis: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?

GWR FM (Bristol)
Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?
Contestant: I don't know, I wasn't watching it then.

MAGIC 52 (NORTHEAST ENGLAND)
Presenter: In what year was President Kennedy assassinated?
Contestant: Erm . . .
Presenter: Well, let's put it this way - he didn't see 1964.
Contestant: 1965?

RTE RADIO 2FM (IRELAND)
Presenter: What is the name of the long- running TV comedy show about pensioners: Last Of The ..?
Caller: Mohicans.

PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO MANCHESTER)
Phil: What's 11 squared?
Contestant: I don't know.
Phil: I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in the middle.
Contestant: Is it five?

SIMPLY THE BEST (ITV)
Phil Tufnell: How many Olympic Games have been held?
Contestant: Six..
Tufnell: Higher!
Contestant: Five.

NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)
Question: What is the world's largest continent?
Contestant: The Pacific

JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC)
O'Brien: How many kings of England have been called Henry?
Contestant: Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth ... er . er ...three?

PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE)
Paul Wappat: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.

NOTTS AND CROSSES QUIZ
Jeff Owen: Where did the D-Day landings take place?
Contestant (after pause): Pearl Harbor?

DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO)
Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?
Contestant: Holland?
Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?
Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel?
Contestant: No.

PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)
Wood: What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?
Contestant: Er . . .
Wood: It's got two syllables . . . Kor . . .
Contestant: Blimey?
Wood: Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . .
Contestant: (Silence)
Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . . .
Contestant: Walked?

STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2)
Wright: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loincloth did he play?
Contestant: Jesus

They're classic!

Pretty dodgy quizzes some of them, they practically give the person the answer (though these folk are dumber than a slice of bread).

Kor...blimey! hahahaha

Are they actually real?

Apparently so. Can't be fucked doing the research to find out, but they seem legit... real shows anyway. I wouldn't be surprised.

saw a guy wearing a t-shirt that said

GOOD
EVENING
BITCHES

hot!

buzz was gonna buy one of those off ebay a while ago 

The new guy at work leaving his myspace signed in on the staff computer made me laugh...the whole time we were fucking with it...

This 'DJ', 'Promoter', 'I'm better than everybody', 'i have connections' guy is a total fucktard (see rant thread)

So now, a lot of his 'friends' think he's gay, he likes smoking pole etc etc...u get the picture.

Funniest bit is his upcoming show:

My Bedroom   17 May 2008, 09:00 PM

Pls msg for details ;-),
Miami Beach, Florida 33139

Cost : FREE

An ass licking, cock smacking, good time. Guaranteed!

Hot boys only need apply ;-)

"You come to my place, i come on ur face"


haha...revenge is sweet   

You should have got one of those bots that sends messages to a 1000 or so people and said the actual address.
Still pretty gold though.

hahaha...that woulda been gold, if only he didn't live here at the hostel!

funny thing is, he can delete the event, and change his profile, but i don't think he has any way of finding out who's pages we commented on......unless he wants to look at 3000+ 'friends' pages. HAHAHA suck shit TOOL.
 




*edit* One of my work mates is now in a gay chatroom under his profile, talking about 'his' first experience at sucking d**k a few nights ago...

omigod, it never stops...!

On Friday night an absolute stunning tall leggy blond come up to me in a club in Brissy and said in a very polite voice:

"Excuse me sir, but would you have any ecstasy on you?"

After I replied in the negative, she said "that's a shame, because I would have totally pashed you if you did"

 

Just because you are in another state doesn't mean you can tell lies and get away with it Julian.

If I was lying I would have said I totally pashed her, dumbarse.

the delivery BOy who just did his best to absolutely charm the pants off me.

his closing line was "hope i get to deliver your pizza again soon"

 

lmao

smoother than anything i ever ran on ya;)

you won me with 'MEGAAAAA JEETTTT'

You sure it wasnt the Car Wispering with the tea towel over his head? 

Ooooowwww yeah! that goes without saying.

The flyer for the gig I'm playing at!

Quite possibly NSFW!

http://www.universalmetropolis.com/city/threads.php?threadid=16325

 

Classic flyer!
Didn't take you long to become one of Melbourne's legendary DJ's either!

yeah, I'm pretty fucking good, hey?

SOUTH PARK!!!!!!!!! HAHAH!

Heroin hero - "You have to chase the dragon, but you'll never catch it"

 :lol:fucking gold i need me weed hero

the game that keeps on forgetting shit

Watching Arrested Development tonight. One of the funnist shows ever imo. I am having a really, really hard time chosing a favourite character out of Gob and Tobias... I'm thinking Gob at the moment. His magic defies logic!

Gob is awesome. I've made a huge mistake

 

some 1 posted this as a bulletin on myspace i found it funny for some sick reason


 Huffing Cat Urine.




It causes a euphoric state where the user hallucinates. Such hallucinations include, but are not limited to, flying through space, driving rocket cars, meeting women with rokin' tits, flying on squirrel dragons, saving said big breasted woman etc. Usually 80s heavy metal power rock is playing in the background.


You also get to fight in the Breasturary, and swim in the fountains of Varnuf with the Itty-titty fairies of Mammary Mountain, as well as fight the boob-goblin in the Gozonga Cave.



20% of students between the ages of 6 - 12 have said they have tried it at least once.



Other slang terms for cheesing:
The Cheese Game
Vitamin Cheese
Mary Jane Piss in yo face fun time.



How to tell if your child is Cheesing:
1.) Your child seems distant, preoccupied.


2.) Your child's face smells like cat urine.


3.) When you see tigers at the zoo, your child starts grinding his or her teeth.



"Dude, I'm cheesing my F-ing brains out right now"
"He's cheesing his F-ing balls off, dude.

"

its from one of the new south park ep's, you gotta watch it!

Dude I'm cheesing my freaking balls off!

Last night's episode was awesome!

Full list of stuff white people like:
http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com/full-list-of-stuff-white-people-like/

"the idea of soccer"

"juno"

"having black friends"

"having gay friends"

"Asian girls"



that's gold!

A comment on news.com.au in regards to an article about sex workers:

A certain thread being locked made me laugh...

I personally don't think that was that fair, after all there was an Ask Noddy thread on the old board and that reached some pretty low levels but never got locked...I'm not trying to pick shit here, and i understand that we were breaching the conditions, i know Oli has to run a relatively clean forum, but if people didn't like it, then why were they opening it? I mean it was just one thread... I don't like certain threads on here so i don't open them, simple. Whatever, it's not important anyway.

 I think you kind of answered your own question there

I didnt pm or complain about it but I didnt reply in it because it was pretty weird in parts.

I'm upset because I liked having something to do when I get bored! I had a few discussions about it that were along the lines of 'It started off relatively clean...' Just checked the first question, an enquiry into vaginal thrush. Hmmm. Maybe it was doomed from the start!

With all this fritz shit going on I just dont think people find joking about sex with kids funny thats all.

Aha. I hold the belief that if you're willing to poke fun at something, than you have to be willing to poke fun at anything. And I hold true to this rule. I understand other people have a problem with this, but where do these people draw the line? And is drawing a line hypocritical? I reckon it is, unless said person can honestly confess to never making fun of anyone or anything. There are always situations and incidents that are going to be offensive for some people. And I'm sure that somewhere, somehow, there will be someone offended by something they've said or done.

PS. I didn't realise that incest/paedo jokes were found that funny by most people before Fritz was around either!

yeah i'm pretty much of that school of thought too

Thirded. I honestly don't think it should make a difference with the whole Fritz thing recently. If you didn't find it funny before you still won't, and if you did find it funny before you still will. Simple.

Fritz?

Now i really do feel a world away from the massive. I have no idea what this is all about...

Josef Fritzl.

To sum it up simply, Daughter, basement, 23 years, more kids etc. etc. From Austria, although according to 4chan he is from Australia.

I was gonna mention that, the first fuckin post was about a yeast infection 

But yeah, when Oli warned everyone about cleaning up their act, we didn't really get much of a chance to field some cleaner questions as it was locked the next day or something...

I vote for it to be reopened, cos there were some hilarious questions/answers that weren't disgusting, and if we (and by we i mean Keyser, Noddy and I) go back to talking about 'unconventional' things, then it can be locked again...Cmon, give it another chance 

just quietly. i'm pretty sure josh has been given a few chances.

worth a shot anyway...

the Ask Aunty Keyser and Uncle Noddy thread.
i have only just seen it. gold.

Start a thread. Stick to the rules. It won't get closed. Simple as that.

Regardless of whether people have a choice to open certain threads or not there still has to be some limit on what is posted here, at least while I'm hosting the forum (at no cost to anyone here by the way) on a server that I manage.

I am fairly confident that everyone here is mature enough (even if some people have a rather strange sense of humour IMO) to draw a line themselves about how far they can go on what is primarily a music community forum. There are plenty of other places online with no such limits, I think we all know that... I certainly can't and don't want to stop you associating with other parts of the Internet, I just don't want you bringing the stuff that the majority of people find genuinely disturbing to this forum.

As I said before it wasn't just me who thought that particular thread had gone too far. It was the first time since I have started helping out with this forum where I have had multiple complaints about the same thread. I've been helping out with hosting/administration for over 5 years now from what I recall. I hope that gives a better perspective about how badly that thread went wrong.

so wrong it was right. *shuts mouth

MySpace has had me & a few peeps giggling big time tonight! 

Oh my, the losers on there are unbelievable!

My Landlord washing the concrete down outside. Yes, it's raining.

actually keyser's post-point scoring antics on the basketball court made me too. awesome work!

The 'Tanners' 

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Plympton-Australia/The-Highway/8542739325?ref=s

Griff, is there something your not telling us??? 

finding out i now work with alexander downers son. yes he is just as bigger twat as his dad. take the piss out of him all the time. dumb as shit and he studied law. i now have no faith in lawers whatsoever. sorry hayley. your aii. 

Looked up Sebastian Bach on Wikipedia tonight and came up with this pearler.

"In 1989, Bach was heavily criticized for wearing a t-shirt on stage with the slogan "AIDS Kills Fags Dead" emblazoned on it"
 

Yak would also like to add this one "Sometime in 2003, Bach tried out for Velvet Revolver before the band found Scott Weiland, but was turned down because, according to Slash, "We sounded like Skid Roses!" Slash, 2007"

[video: www.youtube.com]

Gary's seed is ready to take on the world.

Tony singin "vegemite toast tonight, vegemite toast tonight, vegemite toast tonight, scatterbrain pig, scatterbrain pig" to Professional widow by Tori Amos.

[video: www.youtube.com]

 

that cant be a real tune?

please tell me this is a joke dan
 

Holleeeeeeee crap...that tune rapes the ears 

  :rofl:hahahahhaha FARTSTEP

It's a real song! I've got it in a mix. Give us a few minutes and I'll upload it.

please dont.

http://www.adelaidemassive.com/index.php?topic=1798

 

So, so terrible. Possibly the worst mix I've ever heard. It will teach me to stop downloading random things that pop up on my dnb share feed. 

Nicko's missing front tooth!!!

How the fuck you don't remember having your tooth knocked out is beyond me. Fair effort but.

awesome!

He was parro as, but even then he was with the crew all night long. It wasn't like he was involved in a scuffle or anything, even though we all felt like cracking him at one stage or another.

Vintage Heist for sure. Highlight of the night was when he was standing on stage at Electric Light pretending to be the DJ (a CD was playing some dodgy RnB at the time), whilst a group of 10-15 drunkards on a pub crawl were on the dancefloor cheering him on like he was Pete Tong or something.

The first tune on that mix says it all. See that and a big no no for me anyway instantly 

South Park!!! one of the best episodes this season easily, the ugly kids looked so classic, and especially when the bullet killed Kenny

Abe Lincoln - "And that will make you about as interesting as a wet carrot..."

This episode and last weeks Guitar Hero special, have both totally restored my faith in South Park as the king of animated comedies...

no contest.

Vintage Heist indeed

I only just realised what Headache's avatar was...



FUCKING GOLD!!!

What the fuck! Ladder theory FTW!

http://www.laddertheory.com/ladderconstruction.htm

I sent ya a pm... I didnt really wanna post up my book on here, plus its a thread about laughin not being moany 
Personally don't see harm in jesting at all.. but when kiddy child abuse and animal abuse is involved it buggs me a little because they can't defend themselves.

The /v/ board on 4chan. 4.5

Battletoads? I'll check it now though. I was cruising around on /b/ before. Not much happening there.

haha. So Mootykins is around still hey.

Where the hell did 4.5 come from though?

Haze, PS3 exclusive shooter, got a score of 4.5 on IGN today.

wtf are you nerds on about 

The coming apocalypse.

 

i come in this thread for a laugh not nerd apocalypse talk 

0o0o000oo000o0o00o000oooo0o0o00o00

If you were a nerd, you'd be rolling on the ground in hysterics right now. Binary man. you can't translate it properly, loses it's true meaning.

Keyser did you get my pm? 

Binary consists of 0's and 1's you nerd! 

Maybe he's a dyslexic nerd?

or he has a severe stutter and gets stuck on the 0s

Last night, everyone was smoking on the front porch and this stray dog comes walking up to the house. It was bucketing down with rain so the poor little thing was all wet and shivering. Brett let it inside and it made itself at home hhaha. He fed it some sausages and then decided he'd give it a bath. So we washed it with my blue shampoo ( it was a white fluffy dog but was all dirty ). We dried it afterwards and it was bright white ! It was pretty fat so it must have had owners ( stray dogs aren't usually well fed ). It started being sick because it was such a pig when it ate the sausages and it threw up a whole sausage ( it hadn't even been chewed ! ). Then we rang the council and a council man came to pick it up because we knocked on all the doors in the street and couldn't find an owner.
Interesting night.

I was just proving that I wasn't a nerd. Put your glasses back on, poindexter!!!

thats awesome!

i think my old man might be stoned 

i have thought this several times in the past few years...

Sure, sure, nice attempt to cover your tracks Doogie Howser! 













(Though I suspected as much...)

Some of the notes n shit i found while packing today from when Ribbon and i lived together had me on the floor! FUCKING GOOD TIMES!!

Shit we are funny!

[video: www.youtube.com]
 !!!

I found this while reading a Cracked article today, it was one of the ads on the bottom

Gay Thug Dating
http://www.gaythugdating.com/?aff_id=google&aff_pg=2&aff_tr=1&s=free_db_search

It has to be a joke

Go on mate, sign up..!  its pretty obvious that youre getting wood over your so called "find" 

Oh i got wood alright, and for a minute there I did consider signing up, but then I remembered the colour of my skin...I'm not sure if being white officially voids you from being considered a 'Thug' but its sure gonna make fitting in with my new found black, gangster homosexual friends harder...I mean sure, i try and convince myself that I'm black by listening to rap music and memorising the words, i also often refer to my friends as 'my niggaz' and my girlfriend as my 'bitch' or 'hoe', but at the end of the day, I'm always going to be a whitey...

I wish more than anything that i had been born black, as it seems they have the most care-free indulgent lives, what with everyone respecting them for who they are and all the massive benefits that come from being black (monetary and otherwise)...

Oh well, maybe next lifetime

   fair enough

Are you being sarcastic?

http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Adelaide

Made me giggle lots ;p

 Yes!!!

 

Awesome. So true as well.

 

  I had no idea The Pancake Kitchen had a 24 hour livecam until I read that. Why would they do such a thing?

I don't know but I do know what I'll be doing tonight.

I didnt know either, that's kinda creepy!

The only people that are usually there are off tap anyway. I know I've been there plenty of times at midday for some lunch.

I now have a mission .... sex in the pancake kitchen so everyone can see ! MUAHAHAHAHAHAH.

Holy fuck!

[video: www.youtube.com]

P.S. Video contains Llamii. 

Indian bloke on the phone when I was trying to make a booking for dinner tonight....

I'd like to make a booking for two people tonight, at quarter to seven.
Seven thirty okay no problems....
No, six forty five.
Six twenty five?
Six forty five.
Six thirty five?
Six forty five.
Ah, quarter to seven!
Yes.
And that was for four people?

So you're really just trying to show off that you went on a date last night.
How was it ? Did she gets her baps out ?

no, it made me fucking LOL that he couldn't understand me then told me what i said in the first place.

 it was shit, and i got them out for her. (they're mighty good BAPS too )

 

Ha ha yeah mate I was...Of course i don't think that, but I guess it's kinda hard to tell over the internet

Went to grab something from MegaUpload before and got this...

image not archived: megakokload.gif

Cool man no dramas man, I didn't think somebody would actually think like that!

This guy  helps to highlight your sarcasm!

 



Crazy Russians!

its like dat!

they pulled out all the power moves too, and they were all done REALLY well (i used to do that dancing )

Cracked articles are always pretty awesome, but sometimes a real gem shines through, ladies and gentleman i give to you (if you haven't seen it already) The 9 Most Devastating Insults From Around the World

http://www.cracked.com/article_16275_9-most-devastating-insults-from-around-world.html

Some extremely creative and imaginative insults in here, definitely worth reading for too many reasons...

I think like that. I'm just lucky that all my friends see me as a black person anyway. I'm a pigment of your imagination. Ha ha *nigga stole my joke!

Ok, i know some people love their cars, but this guy has gone WAY too far....

[img=http://img367.imageshack.us/img367/2930/carsexfr5.gif]][url=http://imageshack.us][img=http://img367.imageshack.us/img367/2930/carsexfr5.gif]


 

image not archived: carsexfr5.gif


there ya go abbie




ALEX BATES IMO!!!

oh lordy!

 

hahahahaha.

my boss left the tap on on one of our display models and flooded the showroom.

hahahaha.  take that cunt!

   Haha your such a loving employee...

 

Not today, but on Monday I was standing on our front counter getting some Balloons down from a promo we did last week, as I went to climb off the whole top of the shelf collapsed and I came crashing down with it, smashed an LCD and a computer.

I got up pissing my self laughing while everyone else stressed out thinking I was hurt

Bahahahhahaha

i'd have been spewing if i was your boss.

The bus driver almost driving straight past a dude this morning ... he was black and he was wearing camo so he was totally blending in with the trees hhahaha

I just turned my camera on to show someone a picture, and my housemate has taken a photo of the dog's bum and his own poo in the toilet and left it on my camera for me ... Suitable revenge needs to be planned ...

how about a photo left on his camera of his toothbrush wiping your arse crack?

Do you want revenge that will risk you being sentenced with assault or not?

I suggest something to do with his pillow.

Hahaha yeah something like that ;p

And nah Oli, the risk of assault wouldn't be too good ;p
Gotta get him back good though ... so many mornings I wake up and open my door and that singing Santa is there !
Pillow would be a good idea ... Something to do with the dog and his pillow, I'm thinking !!

How do you know what his poo looks like? 

Why would he take a picture of someone else's poo ??! That's even weirder !! But know him, that could be the case hahaha ;p

how about a little trick an old work colleague used to witness between his 'mates'


everytime they would visit each others houses, they'd often leave one of their turds hidden somewhere in their mates house (yes you read correctly hence the quotations around the word 'mates')

one time there was no sign of any orphaned turd, so the guy thought he got off scott-free this time.







not so.

it was only until about a week later and his household were getting to the bottom of the margarine container that all became dizzyingly clear - the other dude had lifted out the solid lump of marg from the plastic container and put the turd underneath it and squeezed the solid marg back down to seal it in, replacing said container back in fridge.

That shit's fucked up dude! I'd rather have no mates than 'mates' like that!

As if they didn't smell anything when they were using the marg?

 

 Ah I know dudes that used to do that.

 Places included -

 Behind the side view mirror on the drivers side of a car.

 In the cistern

 In the middle of a rolled up advertiser.

 In a pillow case, which was then thrown in another guys car when he was hooking up with a chick (that was at my 21st. There was some serious fallout when their parents heard about that one)

 Evil genius. I reckon that the kind of stuff Hitler would have done.

 

I love the irony with that one.  The margerine one is somewhere between brilliant and wrong, actually maybe its just both

 That is so wrong. All of it is when you consider it could easily make someone pretty sick.

Whats a small bout of Typhoid between good friends???

Clipz remixing Grimey.

Plus a Clipz tune called Ugly. At least he's naming them appropriately hey? 

he also has one called rubbish!

hearing that story was one of the few times that i actually felt ill at the punchline. ive got a gut of steel generally.

wrong in so many ways. but then so enjoyable to retell to others! its like having that youtube 2girls-1cup recording of peoples responses only.

Being told that I was hitting on some gay guy on Saturday night and trying to convince him that he should try being straight again hahahahaha ... ahh .... alcohol is wonderful ...

Leezee ain't gonna change his ways. But no harm in trying I guess.

bahahahaha. bahhahaha.

 

i've tried many times, he turned me away cos i don't use caps...

  


I hate people who don't use caps! They're the same thing as a pill FFS!

omg that's great!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HlUVujcTbrI&feature=related

Hahahhaha

Today is the day that drinking on public transport has been banned, so last night there was a massive party on the tube...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/fernandonz/2541278640/
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7429709.stm

image not archived: 2540372819_30c8805f80.jpg

saw loads of nutters all dressed up and making heaps of noise on the ride home last night...

The Dudesons.

[video: www.youtube.com]

Make Jackass & Dirty Sanchez look like amateurs!

I take my time and send my friend a nice sweet sms saying that I hope that he is okay yada yada yada ... he writes back " shut up and show me your tits " ... *shakes head*

my dad last night taking the time to explain to me how and why Cold Chisel were ahead of their time

Chris's response to Bec's email made me laugh tonight!

The stoopid check out chick who asked me if I wanted a plastic bag tonight when I was buying about 12 grocery items made me laugh tonight. I should've said no, then proceed to stuff apples down my bra and bananas down my pants 

Walking home from dinner I saw a coin on the ground outside the Honda dealership. Han tried to pick it up, but it was glued to the ground. We saw other coins too, so I went home, grabbed a hammer and a screwdriver and chiselled them all up. I left a note under the door saying "OMG! 40 cents!!! Yessssssss!!! Thanks : )".

I hope they get a laugh out of it tomorrow. Probably not more of a laugh than when I walked home from Patches place 2 days after new years and they all saw me walking past, drinking a beer, covered in Bec's makeup while they were having smoko, but a laugh nonetheless.

shame

i used to love getting on the razz before a big night out
oh well, doesnt affect me so sucked in younger generation

The Ladybird book of The Policeman

http://seorant.ath.cx/police/ladybird.html

image not archived: police_13.jpg

I keep reading that banner up the top of AM as 'A Bunch Of Cunts' ;p

 In the Advo today - something about the Lightmare DNB shows. Then a line at the end ' Drum and Bass has become increasingly popular in Adelaide over the past 2 years"

 Fuckin hell WORST PAPER EVER.

Pseudo cunt az made me laugh

touche you f-wit!

Oh for sure. It has exploded.

 

 

A little girl at Koebi's kindy asking him to be her boyfriend! 

So cute for a moment, but so sad that Koebi said no & almost made her cry... 

Learnin young... haha.

awwww cute! breaking hearts already!

might be gay 

 

 

My dream last night, about a random man with a killer vacuum cleaner.

you might be in then in about 14 years. 

 

  several comebacks....

i am not known for patience.

i might be on to chicks by then.

just because i grabbed your nuts one night doesn't make me gay, certainly doesn't help 

all comebacks come with a side dish of 

bahahahaha!  *deep breath* bahahahahaha   

 Yeah but you grabbed them with your mouth

 Suspicious imo

 

excuse me whilst i remove nuts from my mouth so you can put words in them.

 

QUEEN MEETS WORLD GURNING CHAMPION:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7438595.stm

igod....


Me: i hear god is god
God: i have a lot of faith in him, but i never heard he was god.
Me: thanks for clarifying
God: no problem


god: what do you like about me
me: that you fucking rule!
god: interseting observation


me: noddy is a child molester
god: when is noddy not a child molester?
me: when he is smoking crack
god: good point

My dad's out of office email reply...

all this gay talk makes me laugh after the night i've had.....

(moral of the story...don't go out with 5 gay guys unless u wanna see beefed up pretty boys with half masts dancing on bars in g-strings...)

oh dear.
 
 

  I make me laugh...

I only realised, after being busted by one of my colleagues talking to my crackers, how crazy I actually sounded!

*puts cheese on crackers* says "Take that crackers! Consider yourself cheesed!"

I need to get out more 

talking to my mate at the mcg who's gone to watch the crows game conversation went a little something like this something like this

me-"yo you at the game yet?"

him-"yeah just got here"

me-"has it started yet?"

him-"no so dont tell me the scores if you know them"

  i fell off my fucking chair in laughter

Where do I subscribe to his newsletter?

http://notalwaysright.com/well-played-indeed/624



(This is a friend’s experience while working at a popular fast food place on the overnight shift.)

Employee: “Thanks for calling, how may I help you?”

Customer: “Hi. I came through drive-thru earlier tonight, and there’s something wrong with my food.”

Employee: “Um, okay…what’s wrong exactly?”

Customer: “Well, I ordered ***, and there was a used condom on the sandwich.”

Employee, holding in a laugh: “Sir, that’s impossible. We don’t practice safe sex here.”

Customer: “Well played.” *hangs up*

Late night tv sms video advert for '2 Girls 1 Bath' video.

Hahaha that was like when we were watching a live rugby Aus v I can't remember game over here n my mate's friend rang her from Aus.  I asked her to find out who won!

gold!

Placing an advert looking for renters and getting an email that reads:

we r 2 students....so pls we r homeless...u dont worry about ur home we will keep ur home naet and tidy but we have no money because we have 2 pay our fee on 12th so plz understand our problem but we promice that we will pay ur rent with in 20 or 25 days


Yes, I'm really going to rent my room out to some poor shit who can't even respond to an advert properly.

Send them back this image not archived: 8.jpg

eddie murphy delirious had me in fucking stitches, haven't watched it for years!

Definitely a good one.

lol Skeletor dropping his guts in a car full of various villains on Robot Chicken

part of an email today....


If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made fromvegetables, then what is baby oil made from ?

Dial up just called and it wants its email back!

I will pay that one Josh.

love it!!

NSFW

http://www.youporn.com/watch/40933

Yeah i've seen that, unbelievably fake Those stupid cunts and their giant "jizz" spurting rubber cock pop up a fair bit...

My hair has made me laugh today.

RUMBLE FAILING ON A TOP TEN

We got a list of our new international students.... one student's surname is Funk, and another one's first name is Dong Suk... teehehehehe....

I hope laughing at their names doesn't make me racist!

sounds like young chicks to me J i'd be on that if i were you

Some kid at our school was called Young Wang.

I was never into RA but this thread has got to be one of the funniest things I have ever seen....

What happened to this then?

Where do you place ads when you're looking for people, just out of interest?

realestate.com.au

K cheers. I'm new to all this. Just getting a feel for what's going on.

 

Walking through teh supermarket and over the loud speaker was a call for "Mosh, please come to the servioce desk"

hahaha Do dodo do do MOSH!

ha ha is that about gary and del in our hometown?

 

Kicked out of the Strath last night and told "don't even think about coming back".

Good times, good times.

  As if they kicked you out. You pretty much have to throw up everywhere to actually get kicked out. God I haven't been there for ages. Last time I was there was after our staff party with all you can drink. Some random ripped out a Shishae(sp?) smoking device full of green. Needless to say I got pretty messy that night.




Looks like Rob chickened out. I think a rematch is in order.

lol had this convo with a girl at work that mad me laugh(we were talking bout Stand up Comedy)

her-steve do u like Stossman

me-do u mean Strausmen?

her-yer the guy that does miming with teddybears

me-haha you mean a ventriloquist


i laughed

They guy sitting next to me at work looking at me lurking on AM and seeing Dirty Daves sig and commenting on his Devastatin Dave pic only to then bust out his phone and start playin Zip Zap Rap 

  thats gold

my sister just moved house. the old lady was just moving out the day they were moving in so they crossed paths...so my sister decides to check the pantry to see if she had left anything in there and there was a FUCKING OWL IN THERE this old bitch kept it as a pet

What a hoot! Today I made myself laugh..

 

Hahaha. Great stuff.

I went to send an email to a girl i work with about creating access to some software but accidentally sent it to Erika ... Erika was like " WTF?! " hahaha ;p

This 'Zoosk' thing on Facebook is funny ... My description says " I smell like an elderly male yak has taken a leak in both of my pockets. I'm fat. I drink too much and I take drugs and I've lost my magpie : ( " ... and for some reason I keep getting people talking to me. Maybe they're chubby chasers ;p

the internet and its sucking argumentative blackholedness nature

gotta love it

SHUT UP YOU'RE WRONG

no, wait ..

Going through the staff mobile bill to sort stuff out and noticing that one of the staff members was voting in Big Brother from their work mobile hahaha ;p

The fucking termite standing on Goodwood road near the showgrounds cracked me up!

 

 I saw that last week. Imagine doing that as your job, would be awesome.

I faintly remember Patchie used to work for Murray Pest Control  He has some stories about Termites 

 

Guy was LOVING it! Gave me a big wave as I drove past.

good thing you were driving and not riding liam!!!   

i need one of them to give me my phd at my graduation

Yeah I was gonna ride but I hadn't paid my damn weiner bike tax.

 

His name is Dick, dead set! He was in the messenger when he started. He is a champ, i want that job sooooo bad! I still think he needs to wire his bottom hands to his top hands so they move at the same time!

OMG the bike thread has made me larf today 

that RA 'I CALL OUT DJ NODDY' or whatever thread that Funky J pulled out again gave me more than a little chuckle.

hehe

dammit it was ME who pulled that thread out of hibernation

**humph**

an email i got sent to day that said:

Roses are Red
Barbwire is twisted
Bend over love
You're about to be fisted

well I tell ya what, that was some good work thats for sure.

Seriously made my day that did.

Dont get too excited




HAHA


Im in a good mood today, so you just got lucky. 

Simon breaking the news to me that my fish died

then five minutes later saying oh...wait... it's still alive

ZOMBIE FISH!

his paramedic training is paying off already

 

"ITS AAAAAAALLLLIVEEEE!"

playing solitaire at work and it pulls out two 9 of hearts



wtf

awkward

edit-the new logo...piss funny shit!!!!!!!!!!!

Good old Microsoft software!

Not bad, not bad

did you use the "do you know who i am" line?

text from a mate - omg sketching out so hard at the plaza, everyone is looking at me...

ahahahahahahaha

If they knew who Leezee was, they wouldn't let him in in the first place!

The melbournebeats post about the paraplegic chick DJ

Hardy wrote:
What I find most amazing about this is that she can beatmatch using Vestax decks!

Almax wrote:
yeah they were designed for spastics

 

And a comment on her youtube video

kjf82de wrote:
You're really great and your breast wonderful!!

wow that's amazing how she mixes, props to her!

Some chick at work was bangin on about how she couldn't get a seat at church on Sunday and had to stand up. I said to her 'If there really was a god, don't you think he would have saved you a seat'. The look on her face was worth it all!

Melbourne radio (fox fm I think) asking callers to call up and do a 20 second stint on their favourite dance and a girl calling up and squealing about the Melbourne Shuffle and how cool it is. See people think it is cool 

 

 

over hearing Belma,a bosnian work mate say "Poison always comes in small bottle"

Sounds so legit in ger accent

http://www.inthemix.com.au/errordocs/dbdown.html

 Database is off its chops


Sorry, the program or document you have requested relies upon our database, which is currently unavailable. It had a big night out on the town last night and is probably still in bed.


 

i love that error message! haha

[video: www.youtube.com]

I have seen this so many times but it always cracks me up.

CAn't watch it here but is it the and another na nana nananana one?

Damn straight!!

Thinking of Seinfeld's the Wiz 'I'm the wiz, I'm the wiz' everytime that wiz dude/bot posts a thread!

The Bunnings Profanity Hat appearing in the northern hemisphere has had me chuckling today!

that one was on last night... classic!!

its stuck in my head now! love that ep

Well it's not exactly today, but the scathing review of in silico in onion was hilarious! 

that was awesome wasn't it

Link?

I was reading the Guardian review...

"they can't help but sound a little dated, regularly doffing their caps to 1990s electro-rockers Apollo 440."



ooooh... that's new! slash-me commands!

isn't their drummer the drummer from apollo 440 anyway?

reading another forum with a poster called random turnip

lol the guy that has done the review is a mate of mine, good to hear he is keepin it real

Hightower's new signature 

Just saw this on an infomercial

AeroGarden is the world's first indoor smart garden - it's so easy to use that anyone, with or without gardening experience can grow lush, beautiful gardens right in your home! The computerized AeroGarden tells you when to add water and nutrients. The built-in micro-processor automatically adjusts nutrient delivery and water flow and turns grow lights on and off to simulate the sun

All for the bargain basement price of $280!

OMG Will Smith just performed the theme to Fresh Prince at Nelson Mandela's bday gig at Hyde Park... awesome...

Mad ... if I ever become a retired president ... I want Joey Lawrence singing at my birthday

oh what??!!!!?????  can i even believe that i missed that? timmy - why did i not recive a text about this?

will smith was on letterman the other nite and it was one of the funniest interviews i have ever seen on that show. i recommend you watch both parts

[video: www.youtube.com]

[video: www.youtube.com]

 Will Smith FTW