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Bad Sex Award 2007 shortlisted passages

Started by Rookie · 28 Nov 2007 · 8 posts survive · see it on the Wayback Machine

AuthorMessage
RookiePosts: 822
Posted: 28 Nov 2007, 9:37amSubject: Bad Sex Award 2007 shortlisted passages
 nodd

http://books.guardian.co.uk/news/articles/0,,2217735,00.html

"I think I'm still inside her but, quite honestly, it's difficult to tell ..."

"She cracks me across the face with the back of her hand, grips my throat, spits in my eye and scrapes her nails across my scalded flesh. And that's when I come. Oh yes. That's when the core of my soul spasms and snaps, spilling out its filthy pips"

 Cry lovethumbs

wow this reminds me of that cool quills movie
"Eccentricity is not, as some would believe, a form of madness. It is often a kind of innocent pride, and the man of genius and the aristocrat are frequently regarded as eccentrics because genius and aristocrat are entirely unafraid of and uninfluenced by the opinions and vagaries of the crowd." (Edith Sitwell)
cleascJ.R.F.M.O
Posts: 1,899
Posted: 28 Nov 2007, 9:44amSubject: Re: Bad Sex Award 2007 shortlisted passages
rofl

Quote
She hadn't shaved, and her fanny looked like a tropical fish or a bit of old carpet.
Jellious Rebellious
Funky Monkey
Organisation
LexyGlobal Moderator
Posts: 4,985
Posted: 28 Nov 2007, 10:06amSubject: Re: Bad Sex Award 2007 shortlisted passages
Quote
I tried to go down on her, thinking back to the Razzle and how the boys did it in that. But my heart wasn't into it - her cunt smelt a bit like an armpit, and when I pulled the lips open I knew I'd have to shut them numerous times or else I'll die of Aids or I'd fall into it.

rofl
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cleascJ.R.F.M.O
Posts: 1,899
Posted: 28 Nov 2007, 10:08amSubject: Re: Bad Sex Award 2007 shortlisted passages
 laugh laugh laugh laugh

This is some funny shit!!!
Jellious Rebellious
Funky Monkey
Organisation
BekavichPosts: 1,049
Posted: 28 Nov 2007, 10:16amSubject: Re: Bad Sex Award 2007 shortlisted passages
Now that is quality.
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LeezeeThe right honourable
Posts: 1,952
Posted: 28 Nov 2007, 1:19pmSubject: Re: Bad Sex Award 2007 shortlisted passages
haha wicked!  laugh
I once had this battery with an alkaline problem. I took it to AA meetings.

To all the virgins out there: THANKS FOR NOTHING!

Sleeping bags. They're intense!
trashy_chicaTrash it up!
Posts: 3,721
Posted: 28 Nov 2007, 1:35pmSubject: Re: Bad Sex Award 2007 shortlisted passages
oh thats awesome!!! will have to read at home  laugh laugh laugh
Munkee Snaps

"Anything you can't get out of a bottle of vodka, you don't need."..........
-   Ava Gardner......
Pseudo CoupPosts: 965
Posted: 28 Nov 2007, 3:55pmSubject: Re: Bad Sex Award 2007 shortlisted passages
Quote from: Rookie on November 28, 2007, 09:37:26 AM
nodd

http://books.guardian.co.uk/news/articles/0,,2217735,00.html

"I think I'm still inside her but, quite honestly, it's difficult to tell ..."

"She cracks me across the face with the back of her hand, grips my throat, spits in my eye and scrapes her nails across my scalded flesh. And that's when I come. Oh yes. That's when the core of my soul spasms and snaps, spilling out its filthy pips"

 Cry lovethumbs

wow this reminds me of that cool quills movie

except that marquis de sade was one of the most talented writers of lascivious passage of all time rather than hilariously inept