Lessons Ive learnt in Life

wat lessons are you learning from the school of hard knocks?

Ive just learnt today, that when people ask you "dude, why are you so angry?"

That they really, just dont really want to know.  especially when ya tell them

fukers

That Chris is gonna get a bullet 

I learned that you should watch out behind you when walking out the front for a smoke in a bar. I jumped out for a quick 2 minute smoke while we were getting slammed, and on my way out some guy threw up all over my back. After finding spare clothes and then changing them, I was gone for a good half an hour. God I hate people.

To never let your guard down.

And if its to good to be true, then it probably is.

My motto for life...

"Treat others as you wish to be treated yourself."

If more people lived by this, the world would be a much happier place.

pushes cleasc off a chair

 

It wasn't a push, I simply returned your nudge. And Kharma was inflicted on this occasion remember.

*Always* trust your gut instinct.

Be the change u wish to see in teh world.

Ghandi got it right, if you want to see something happen then you need to be proactive!

Condoms don't always prevent pregnency!

If you use logical reasoning rather than follow your feelings you're going to get a much better outcome 

And always keep the ultimate goal in mind.

And always remember that you probably know a whole lot less than you think you do!

oh and the morning after pill also doesn't always prevent pregnancy!

Taking a whole pack of No-Doz plus (24) is not a good idea.

Never drink shampoo. No matter how good it smells.

Taking a whole pack of anything is usually not a good idea 

do what you wana do, be what you wana be, yeah!

re:post it erika.

come on. i wanna see the response.

One thing i have learnt is I dont need other people or so called "friends" in my life to feel complete

I have learnt to think before you act and be very careful about what you do and say! Also be true to yourself and to your friends, strive to have fun, be happy, love life & never give up on your dreams, always see the glass half full, trust your gut instinct like lex said and avoid drama at all costs!

You should read Descartes' Error by Antonio Damasio...Damasio is one of the worlds leading neuroscientists, and his main area of study is the reliance of logic on emotion...basically he takes famous cases like Phineas Gage, where people have lost their frontal lobe or had it damaged by meningitis etc. and shows the sudden loss of ability to reason properly. The frontal lobe is the emotional centre of the brain and once it is lost people lose the ability to reason to the point of not understanding why they would even need to reason and why it would matter to them...they lose touch with anything they care about or any passion to be involved so they stop rationalising things and they infact start to do things that severely mess with certain aspects of their lives...become anti-social, throw all their money away on crazy schemes, and have no way of explaining why they even chose to do what they did

basically i know what you are getting at, and irrational people annoy me, but emotions are essential in logic....... it is just essential to understand your emotions properly and use them to make the correct judgement....but the reification of emotions and logic as two seperate entities when they both subsequently fire along the same neural pathways leads to alot of misunderstanding about the role of emotions in logic

end ramble

interesting....

Yeah, awesome, cos I hate the whole 'should I follow my head or my heart' argument, I've always felt like you can't really separate the two (ie. making a decision based on "logic" or "emotion")... so yeah, that's my two cents.

Being a guy prevents pregnancy

True... I guess I just meant that the mind can be deceptive and people can convince themselves of anything. Emotions are important but they can cloud peoples judgement and reduce their ability to reason objectively.

The impulsive response ilicited by strong emotions is almost always the wrong response!

Agreed 

Ive also learnt to have enough self awareness to know when to take responsibility and ownership of my own emotional issues, so that i dont blame others for 'making me feel a certain way'. I believe you have choice in how you feel, and know one can make you feel anything, it's how you choose to respond to any given situation that is important.

Ive learnt that what you project from your inner self, you recieve from the world, and its only when you are truley connected to your higher self that you are insinc. Or 'in the Zone' !!

Ive learnt to forgive and move forward and to love regardless, because people are doing the best they know how.

And Like Anna said, "Be the change you want to see in the world". Becuase alot of the time the only power for change we have, is within oursleves.

I have learnt a few things

Competitive sport & relationships don’t go hand in hand & preparedness makes us powerful   

Yes I learnt that one the hard way too

Ive learnt that this thread  really isnt as funny as I thought it could be. blah to "inspirations"

No mushy learnings, and more details on the lesson! 

 

Ive learnt today not to post before I think

 

My bad 

I posted this in another thread already, but it belongs here:

I went to my friend Cheng's place to stay over in early primary school. Whilst there they offered me baked beans for dinner, but I said no, I'll have what they're having (after all, my parents probably cooked me a greater variety of food than Cheng's family ever dreamed of eating - a bit of chinese food was fine by me!).

Two hours pass and i needed to go to the toilet. I had diarrhea so bad! I got through it, but i did use a lot of toilet paper. Then I was back in Cheng's room sitting there in my fluoro green stussy shorts when his grandpa walked in. The toilet was blocked apparently. He asked me in broken engrish whether I had tried to flush my underwear down the toilet. I said no, I hadn't. At this very moment I realised that when I got dressed in the morning, I couldn't find any underpants, so I did what i now know to be "freeballing" - going without underwear. So then the inevitable happens. This crazy old Chinese guy asks me to lift up the side of my fluoro stussy short shorts and show him that I have my underwear on still.


This is a life lesson to this very day. Sometimes, u'll get caught in a situation, and it may look bad, you may look like a liar, you may look like a fool, look like u've blocked someone's toilet by flushing ur underwear down it (even though you haven't), and there is NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT. Give it up. Accept the situation and move on. Don't bother trying to explain it.

By its very nature, situations like these don't lend themselves to explanation. Except 17 years on on a public internet forum.

Life lesson everyone else will take away from this:  Never freeball, you never know when dirty old men are going to ask you to pull down your pants.

 

HOLY CRAP THAT WOULD HAVE TO BE THE FUNNIEST, AND I MEAN FUNNIEST, EXPERIENCE EVA

i absolutely agree with that


i also think that nothing on this thread from this day forth will beat Liams story

BA BOW

Lesson please

 

Ive just learnt that the word association thread really is a gay thread

and Ive thought long and hard before posting that one

Dont tell your Mum that "you have had just about every drug under the sun, many that you havent even heard of, more than once, and will continue to use drugs on a somewhat regular basis for an undisclosed amount of time despite what she says" and think it's going to go down okay.

Lesson learnt

LOL

I came home one night after a rave in a PLUR mood and felt it was time to tell her everything. kinda GLAD I didnt!!!

Something prevailed. its called common sense 

haha sucker!!!!!!

what made it worse is that i then drove off drunk



all good now, and that was Saturday

the sat just been?

I am earning that getting drunk on AM is not a good idea 

I mean learning

bahahahahah

P.s. I got a response! someone dobbed

LOL

but we are now buddies

Then it won't matter if you post it.

Put it this way. If you don't post it we'll like your sister more.

meh

as long as you like me Josh, and I look cool, thats all Care about

maybe should delete that

bahahaha

The only way you can look cool is by posting what was written!

meh

Yep, i learnt that one the hard way!! 

 

when i told my dad that i've had more drugs in one weekend than my two brothers have had in their whole lives put together, he said thankyou .

not mum

Please papa, no!

look after yourself because in most cases, everyone else is gonna be too busy with their own affairs to look after you.

dont shit where you eat. it stinks plus it can get very messy and leave a bad taste in your mouth.

what goes up must come down.

 These were my favourite parts


 Fucking LOL

 

When I was a teen i learnt that if you stick a knife in the toaster to test if the safety switch works, it does!

HAHAHA

Never try harder. Do what you have to to get by. Otherwise cunts will expect you to go above and beyond on a regular basis. If people think you are lazy they will accept it and pick on someone else who is more willing than you are to be raped.

yeh thats a true one too, the more you try for people the more they expect it, and then they eventually get disappointed anyways

Be careful who you trust.

Also...

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

yes yes yes!

I learnt that lesson not too long ago  still learning it really.

still, I cracked that bitch good and proper and pulled her top down for the world to see her titties!

bahahahahahaha

that'll learn her to fuck with me 

I'm with you on that one.

HAHA! Crack that tart!

 

Did anyone ever see George Bush try and say that once.

I do recall that!!

HAHA

I've learnt that you shouldn't get too drunk 

take nothing for granted

And I don't recall posting that!  I have no idea what George Bush ever says.

Bloody Tony, stay outta my AM!!!

But you wouldn't be half the man you are without him 

ALways "appear" to know what your doing..............even if you dont noone will no.

Always know how to spell "you're".............


 

Always know how to spell "know" too...

 

beware the grammar police

Your rite... I no I seen them around hear somewhere 

When life  gives you lemons in 2007 - turn it into lemonade then mix it with vodka. 



James has taught me alot this year, and ill take all the lessons and make sure i learnt them well.

you dont know someone till you've lent them money.....
 

or when life hands you lemons... have tequila shots!

wow i never thought on IM type sites i need to concern myself with proper punctuation, thing is when looking at these posts im in...........in fact why am i bothering with this   

 I'm

hahaha

Teehehehe.

 

 

 I lol'd at my own arseholeness

wasn't bad.

Aaaaaahahahaha.

 

lol should be in all capitals with periods after them indicating that L.O.L. is an abbreviation...

"do exactly what you want you, do nothing half heartedly, be what you speak man never speak on what you be."

my words exactly.

Wow everyones parents must be pleased the money they shelled out for education paid off.
 

I've also learnt not to be lazy with grammar on this site.....or have I????
 

I disagree with that..

My motto is

"Treat others how they want to be treated."

 

oh I quite disagree

"Treat others however I feel like treating them"

 

 10/10 for grammar. 3/10 for Content. Good effort. Pleasing result.

Bwahaha such a smart arse! love it

I have learnt that to much caffine & not enuf sex makes me something something

I have learnt that everything happens for a reason, and I shouldn't dwell on the past.

I've learned that Enchanted Forrest's "secret location" always means Pt Gawler...

 

*Forest

* Pt.


 

stay up all night wanking 

* learnt

Haha wicked, go grammar Nazi's! 

beat off?

 

 

Or Skate FX

Nazis

Stay up all night wanking?

I must admit, I wasn't sure when i wrote that. I'm terrible at apostrophes. I have this though:

image not archived: bobsquki9.gif

I should have consulted it.

  simple minds i guess......

Vacuuming the dog because he's shedding isn't the best thing to do. It just makes the dog scared of the vacuum cleaner.

 

Bwahahaha, oh shit 

Dont drink only a couple of glasses of wine in your work lunchbreak when you're tired and bored

get paro or its nothing

Tell your friends everyday how much they mean to you and how speical they are.

Be true and loyal to yourself, because without that you can't be true and loyal to anyone else. (Thanks M)

Make people know that they matter, because they might infact need to hear it.

Always tell a girl when her ass looks great, because she will never forget it (Thanks M)

 
 There are definitely some lessons there that I have learned recently.

When cuppa soup is too hot for your mouth, don't swallow it!!!!!!! Owwwww mutha fucker

Absolutely. SO important

if you have a hairy arsehole do not and i repeat do not try to trim it yourself with scissors

 

That's a good piece of advice Davo, I'll be sure to remember it if I am about to trim my arse hair...

try a cigarette lighter

How many times have I had to tell you Dave-o?

Bleach!

shesh

 

I've learnt that even though jam donut shots, special fried rice and karaoke may seem like an awesome idea at 3am, I'll probably wake up feeling very sick the following afternoon.

jam donuts ended me last night.... ergh *seedy*

Ans no matter how desperate you are to keep the parting going never start shooting Jack daniels at 4 am 

I'll pardon your gramatical errors and assume you're still drunk 

Thats a fair assumption to make 

The thought of eating KFC is infinitely better than actually eating KFC!

Yeah I know, but no matter how sick it makes me, I still crave it every few months.

 Not even!

 The Colonel rules, Weez and I are reporting for duty tonight!

 *salutes*

Today I have learnt that if you have indigestion and you take a zantac, dont take it with coffee.

Also dont eat stirfry with chilli after

On the weekend I learnt if you are going on long road trips in a car with someone sitting behind you, dont do smelly burps when the air con is on full blast.

Same goes with farts. even though i didnt do any. 

 

I've learnt that salt makes things taste better.

Take the orange for example, eat it with a bit of salt and you've got more flavours than you can poke a stick at....

Believe me, don't judge it before you've tried it, serious 

u cant be too serious about anything in life cause there is always shit happening to someone you love and if u start stressing bout that,then u will be in some serious stress for the rest of ur life...

That the rest of your life is a really long time, so don't do anything for the rest of your life unless it makes you feel really good 

I've learnt that you must always trust what your inner voice is telling you and be true to yourself, even if it means that the ones you care for will be hurt/burdened/lost in the process as you will have to live with the consequences of that decision for the rest of your life and if you only make others happy you in turn will suffer for not being true to yourself every day of your life.

So so so true 

Yep - Hurting deeply on a daily(hourly) basis is not a good thing...

Thanks girl

can i get in on the hug action 2

hey the more the merrier

Ive learnt if people are offering free "goods"...Dont be a dick, take em! 

Otherwise they stop offering after a while 

I've learnt that booze causes memory loss.
Must not drink so much.

 

I came in here to write something along similar lines.  By golly I was ratted last night!

Yeah ... getting well rat arsed might be a good idea at the time ... but goddammit what the hell happens to the missing hours ? And what the hell are these pictures on my camera ??! hahaha

You need to use those photos to piece back memories of the night, as seen in  Memento. Apparently tattoos are also good reminders of events that have transpired whilst under the influence!

Hahaha nice one, no pics for me, just loads or random messages. It took a while for me to work out until i checked my sent messages  .

Ive learned not very much about somethings in the last few years.

I have recently learnt not all men are cunts.

But most bitches lie, steal and cheat there way into most mens hearts.

never a truer word spoken!

Men are just as bad.

Zing!!

 

That can work as well...

ok that explains it why im up so late. i admit im guilty 

That really needs to be printed on a t-shirt.

While we are on this topic, Ive learned that the girl ALWAYS gets the blame...and the boy lies and gets away with it!

Can I have that on a T-shirt?

Today I've learned that the library has much faster internet access than my house.

Tut tut Miss!!

Some 'people' lie, steal and cheat.

But some people live and love with an open heart, give all of themselves all of the time, and find pleasesure in other people's happiness 

Ive learnt that the world can offer us nothing without first finding whats within 

agreed.


There are heaps of people that gain from what the world has to offer without having discovered their inner self! What about someone who wins the lottery, not all of them would have found out "whats within", but they'd be happy as a pig in shit! And what about all those rich business men who just happen to be in the situation that they're in (rich, successful, powerful, happy), purely because they were born into the right family, or are cunty enough (or even if they worked hard, doesn't make any difference, I bet Bill Gates never said "um yeah I owe everything that I've gained from the world by knowing myself on the inside...". What about a cow. Are you suggesting that the world offers the cow nothing, or are you saying that the cow "has found what is within"?

Anyway it doesn't matter, I know what's within the world. I'm a geophysicist. Well almost.

True authentic happiness comes first from within, before the outer can really be experienced and enjoyed.

Why do you think people keep seeking and seeking no matter how 'successful' they may be? Success, money and power offer no real substance of happiness becuase it is unsustainable without itself.

What happens when you are stripped of your money, power and success, are you then still happy?

Authentic happiness comes from within, because that my friend is what is sustainable, no one can take that from you, unless you CHOOSE to let them.

We are all masters of our own destiny to a certain extent, as we all have 'choice' in how we respond to what life offers us. And that is real power.

What about the cow?

opening frozen 2L bottles of coke can be very, very dangerous

 

I bought some pickled onions a couple of days ago, opened them up for a midnight snack and BOOM!

It was as if I'd put salvital in the jar and shaken it up, the shit fizzed up all over my uni stuff, in my shoes, etc, then finally stopped just as I reached the sink (typical). WTF!

They're in the fridge, but I dare not eat one. Gonna get my fucking $5 back!

yeah coke all over me, the kitchen wall and a possible slight black eye

sorry but

lol all good, im laughin too!

wont be laughing when wherever it was gets invaded by ants

better clean that mess up PROPER

When something doesn't make sense it's usually not true.

I don't make sense a lot of the time.

Well then.

Doing the right thing can sometimes be very wrong.

Always use this smiley  when being sarcastic.

example?

 How insightful

 

i ate too much, ive leart nothing from it, ill do it again im sure  

* pats belly *

I'm right there with ya, sistah!

Me three!

*lies down*

I've learnt when a custard recipe calls for microwave OR stovetop cooking, always go with the stovetop.

Damn lumpy microwaved custard

What's wrong with Chunky Custard? 

Today I've learnt that taking a break from weed, ciggies & alcohol all at the same time is well boring!

YEAH! Lern'd!

take up heroin and crack 

I've learnt that even though he may have been missing in action for the last few months, I was unwise to write Shadowman and his sketch producing powers off.

Because he is back with a vengeance and making up for lost time.

What did i tell ya!! 

Ive learnt work is not my life, and ive had enough!!

I've learned that moving gives you perspective which is good thing...but also makes you miss what you had.

i'll say it again.

come back!

Haha, I wish it was as simple as that. But thanks for the love Christopher! 

yeah, same as travelling!

i've learnt that even if you're on the right path, it is still a treacherous one to negotiate 

I've recently learned that I was right all along.

"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to."

Sometimes chocolate can make everything better...

... for about 5 minutes.

You clearly didn't use enough chocolate!

Intuition is usually right.

 Never believe people that write their own press

 

Oh God, yes! I really need to listen to this more often, although it seems like a lesson I am doomed to learn over and over and over.

When you've run out of toilet paper ... don't use those Eucalyptus tissues. Ow : (

x 3

Living in the moment is far more difficult than one might have thought. But appreciation even after that moment has passed never goes astray.

living in the moment whilst tapped cost a lot of money

But fuck you appreciate it at the time! 

 

A leopard can't change it's spots ... no matter how much they try to cover the spots up

When the bar staff at a club refuse to serve you because they say that you're too drunk ... trying to argue with them to prove that you're sober just proves them right

Being the first person to fall asleep in a share house when others have been drinking can end in you waking up with something duct taped to you

Crab and platypus DNA just don't splice

i'd say it would depend on the way it's flipped up, rubbed down and thrown around  also what kind of genetic milkshake mixer has been brought into play could tip the finely balanced DNA scale

That no matter how late you stay out on a weekend chances are you aint gonna miss much by going home

Hell yeah...only took you about 6 years to learn that one

That just when you think you have seen it all, the weekend still manages to deliver a drama that not even Ridge Forester could have seen coming.

I'm still not sure wether to be impressed or alarmed.......

from what I've heard, without question Alarmed

That surely deserves to be spilled, you two! Do it for Ridge.


I've learned that no matter HOW much you prepare for something, you always forget something vital. Lists are good.

I have learnt to always ask my self "what would Rich Franklin say" before opening my mouth

I have also learnt there is a long way to fall from the dizzying heights.

I have also learnt that being dedicated like you read about dosent always pay off

I've learned that patience and hard work do get you places. (Even if it takes a while to get there)

Ive worked that in any office you work in... there will always be idiots who are incompetent.

FUCKING frustrating! Really starts pissing me off having to spoon feed and remind people to do basic things

Hmm No wonder its so fucking easy to get promotions in government!

Common sense is not that common

how good is it!

i guess that's why they call it patience 

so true, so annoying but so true.

dam straight common sense is something some people just don't have

take my apprentice for example stupidest little fuck you will ever meet just doesn't have common sense he's supposed to be qualified in 6 months and he wouldnt be ready is 6 years

if you arent going to be worrying about it this time next year, its not worth worrying about it now.

What if you're planning a big event (wedding etc.) in less than a year's time eh? Shot your philosophy down in flames there didn't I? 

Nah seriously, pretty good advice within reason, sometime being complacent about something is the worst move to make...

I've learnt... to make lemonade when life gives you lemons... to find the silver lining... and to look on the bright side, etc etc.

 :nod:

To not take my mobile phone out of my bag and make a phone call public toilets ever again - cos then I leave it on the counter or the window sill -I keep freakin losing my phone in toilets!


ARGHGHGHGHGHHGH!

(and to remember not to get so drunk)

That everything will pass, just try not to stress about it.
The phrase "c'est la vie" is one that has seen me through some hellish times. Just have to remember 'such is life' and that it'll pass.

i've learnt that there is no use in defending someone or something when there is nothing left to fight for.

Oh snap, lady! Get out of my life already :lol:

 :lol: thats some scary business haha...

sad but true to come to this conclusion after so long, especially when a primary aspect of your personality is one of loyalty.

We're Leos, comes with the territory, unfortunately (sometimes) :lol:

ooh yeah...  :lol:

I've learnt that I always come up with an excellent retort or snappy comeback... 10 mins to a day after the conversation.

 'Well, the jerkstore called and they are all out of you'

 (Seinfeld reference for those that don't know)

I learned that I will never get the hang of Wii Sport! *kicks Wii*

sounds like you need the cheat code to access the Chinese Olympic judging panel   ;)

Typical sore losers response!

 :lol:

I'm learning to only keep friends that treat me with the same respect i give them

i've learnt to handle my finances - onto bigger & better things after removing $15,000 debt this year alone!

aaaand also learning i still have an excellent ability to put my foot in it at times

I need to learn this, teach me master :lol:

 :lol:

And ive learnt that i still have a huge lack of general knowlege and i suck at the quiz

But i OWN Wii Sports  :E

:lol:

i own the quiz. ali won't play anymore becuase of said owning. :(

I've only played twice but owned you on each of those occasions.

touche' :lol:


you've had a bit more time to study though too, you know not having a proper job, not sleeping, being an old cunt etc etc. :)