The Anti-love for the Opposite Sex thread

tell mama why they piss you off

Now

I mean noooow

Now

Ithought this was a thread abouthating the opposite sex THREAD, not the opposite sex in general. Damn! i wanted to whinge about happy couples spuing out online

*SPU's all over Erika*

Wub Wub Wubby wub woo wooo

 

suspect problems in o'paradise 

Uhhh...

GOD HELP US!!!!!

 

Lets make it a thread about all of the above

boys piss me off... for nothing more than being boys. simple.

and if you have sex with me, you are more likely to piss me off sooner rather than later.

I hope that rule only applies to the opposite sex 

Ahhhhhh Jeeeeeebus! Here we go... 

OK GUYS ENTERTAIN ME!!

Show us your tits!

You planning a boob off?

Thats a lose lose situation for you then

dont wanna get pissed off = dont get any sex

Get some sex = then get pissed off

You might as well get some sex then as ya gonna be pissed off or frustrated anyways

Just get a bootie call boy

fucking women i might aswell be slamming my head into a brick wall it'd make more sense and hurt less

and probably increase your chances of success, going by the look of your mug these days

I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how they can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto their upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider!

nice generalisation there! :rollseyes: i;ve seen just as many guys freak out!

understanding women is like trying to work out where the opposite sex thread has gone

 

Yeah, impossible!!! 

I bet a woman did something to it 

Receptionist: How do you write women so well?
Melvin Udall: I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability.

 

Woman's Prayer

Before I lay me down to sleep,

I pray for a man, who's not a creep.

One who is handsome, smart and strong.

One who loves to listen long.

One who thinks before he speaks.

When he says he'll call, he won't wait weeks.

I pray that he is gainfully employed.

When I spend his cash, he won't be annoyed.

Pulls out my chair and opens my door.

Massages my back and begs to do more.

Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,

and knows what to answer to "How big is my behind?"

I pray that this man will love me to no end,

And never ever attempt to hit on my friend.

Amen.


A Man's Prayer

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge breasts

who owns a liquor store and a boat.

Amen

I could say that about men too dont worry

Meh I dont give a fuk these days. Im just gonna have fun and be happy with doing my own thing, best way to be

WOMEN'S ENGLISH


1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want..
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = I need to complain
7. Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
10. Are you listening to me? = Too late, you're dead
11. You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
12. Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
13. You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
14. Do you love me? = I am going to ask for something expensive
15. It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
16. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
17. I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
18. How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going to like

The countdown to marriage is really getting to you innit? 

 

can you tell..

Sucked in you're gonna be stuck with a woman for ever and ever....... and EVER 

yea, well your stuck with Buzz for eva and eva..you do realise that dont you..hahaha

Hi Buzz  .. hehe

oh yes, but he knows how to interpret what I say:

Do you love me? = tell me you love me
I love you = tell me you love me
You hate me don't you? = tell me you love me
Tell me you love me = I already know you love me!

Not at all thanks to one magical word...... DIVORCE.

Makes me smile just thinking about it.

Well, im gonna have to take him under my wing and teach him some fundamentals that he new before you BRAINWASHED him! 

dont worry andrew, I'll save you buddy 

haha..... goodluck with that

we will see about that 

thats jerry seinfield's joke!!!

He stole Jerry's bit 

soooooooo 1993

oh and i thought all the other jokes that follewed were original too...

Good decision deleting that post snappytom  

 

didnt want to rock the boat 

was actually from a website I was reading yesterday bored at work, didnt see a copywrite symbol anywhere tho.. 

or two more magical ones

"its off!"

 

chicks suck































oh how they suck   

You're right. Those 2 words are definitely less hassle than my one word.

The two magical words I was thinking of were "murder suicide"   

WTF? 

Well it sure is cheaper than divorce i guess haha

Is Buzz that bad is he? 

 

Not at all, it was probably a joke I heard somewhere that I stole from someone 

Buzz is superduper great.... we've literally only had one argument since we got married 

always feel the love for male platonics 

at this present time potential males for sexual purposes is promising 

gonna be the summer of alana!!

are you on heat or something alana?

 ... ah... no.